i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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