Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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