Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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