she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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