Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
