If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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