I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
