Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
