Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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