Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
