You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
