Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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