their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
