"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
