please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
