Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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