The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
