bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
