I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
