We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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