I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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