i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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