Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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