I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize