Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
