I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
