why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
