As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It was confusing and full of hummus
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
