I'm lost and stupid without you.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
