He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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