I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
