She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
kristin has been a bad kristin
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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