they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
