I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
