Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize