you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
