Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
