God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
