im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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