y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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