STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Text me some of your sweat
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