shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
