Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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