he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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