Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
