Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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