I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
