I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
