We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so let's talk penis.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize