Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
