Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
