nut hugger
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
