My nipple is on Facebook.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
