my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Randomize
