hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
