So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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