the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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