Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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