with your own penis?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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