While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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