i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
