the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
