Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize