It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
