ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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