More tranny stories later!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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