Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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