I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
