It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
