had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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