whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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