Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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