"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
